You Get To Choose

Hi Everyone I ve been having many conversations lately with people in the midst of re-creating themselves They are taking risks trying new things are excited about some of their new directions however they re also butting up against the angst of change In step 5 of my 7 1 2 Steps to Transcend the Status Quo I say Get a plan for uncertainty It s the times of not knowing what to do how to do it when to do it why to do it that get us in the hot seat You see when involved in change we are way outside our comfort zone It seems it would be so much easier to return to the space of doing what we already know even though it s not fulfilling or isn t working I mean right AT least with the old we know what to expect we re not caught off guard Example If we have a job and can depend on a steady income it s easier to not leave than to risk NOT making money for a bit while we look for or try something different If we live in a decent place in a nice neighborhood in a nice city in a nice state and we know a lot of people even if we re bored there we want to stay because if we move someplace else what might it be like Right Making a change shifting a behavior involves a huge learning curve We are in uncharted waters Say you always worked in a company and now you re the boss of your own company You have to do it all and you probably don t know how to do it all You could hire help but maybe you can t afford to yet so the learning curve Let s zoom down now into the emotional side There s the practical side the decision making side weighing the pros and cons of a change Say you decide you re close to doing it OR you ve already made the shift Here s what happens On the one side you re feeling Fear Difficulty in accepting help or asking for it A Sense of righteousness e g I know what I m talking about you can t tell etc Impatience — things aren t happening fast enough Sound familiar It certainly does to me That about sums up my negative side or the challenging side of my personality However on the other side there are some more useful ways to be or feel Be authentic humble Be passionate Be open Ask for what you need and be willing to accept it Be vulnerable Be truthful Be optimisitc Be CLEAR about your goalsDo you have some of these ways of being I do In a recent conversation with a wonderful mentor of mine she challenged me to look at both sides of my schizophrenic self I m all of this stuff I m incredibly independent driven a bit demanding at times self-righteous impatient and I m incredibly fearful at times However I also am all of the things on the second list In our conversation we determined that all I have to do when I m in the space of the first list is CHOOSE to shift to my other ways of being In a moment when fearful I can CHOOSE to be vulnerable that gives me more choice I can stay with the fear and cry and curl up and vent sometimes very useful OR I can choose to be optimistic remember how passionate I am and ask for help The way through there is no way out is to CHOOSE in the moment how you want to be Try it on see if it works Reinvention is not easy but it is very rewarding Remember what I often say Don t die with your dreams inside you take on the life job relationship etc that you want have it your way Have a great weekend Tootles Ann

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