Tales of the North Fork and Beyond

Bad Manners
Published: 2010-3-11
Everyone has their own pet peeves and I believe I posses more than the average person One of my biggest pet peeves is bad table manners and just manners in general There are so many men and women out in the world out and about on the Fork that lack good edict The worse sin one could commit is talking with food in your mouth This drives me insane and fills my black heart with so much disdain and loathing for that stranger just smacking away with a fish taco floating around in their mouth for everyone to see I can t even express to you how much I hate this I don t care how well dressed you are or how great your handbag is if you are yapping away with food in your mouth-we cannot and will not be friends It s totally unattractive and for me unforgiveable Another rather carnal habit is simply just talking loud I was eating out at Tony s Asian Fusion in East Quogue and these chics we will call them as ladies infers that they are in fact that ladies which they were not So anyways they were sitting at the bar and just talking so damn loud I can t stand that loud talkers Who really wants to hear your conversation Of course like anything that annoys me I am no longer able to concentrate on what I am ordering or the company I am keeping Instead I am just consumed with hatred and bad feelings because of the load kackling that was echo ING throughout the establishment Keep in mind that it is a fact that people who talk loud are ignorant Loud talking is indicative of ignorance So to all of you people out there check your volume Women that stare particularly at other women are rude and automatically get dubbed by me as a bitch I hate it when you get the once up and down glance I mean come on do you think I can t see you doing that Or when you walk into a restaurant and every woman in the place is sizing you up So rude I get that you want to soak in my fabulousness but please be discreet Every time I walk into LLK it happens like clock work the women of the Fork can t help themselves they have to gawk So for the future lets not do that and practice careful discretion
Winter Blues
Published: 2010-2-26
Peace and quiet is a beautiful thing The hustle and bustle of life in the metropolis can take its toil on anyone Everyone needs a break I need a break however from the peace and quiet of the East End Winter on the Fork is grueling and flat out boring What is there to do Where is the scene the happening spot No such bloody thing Not here What and where are the highlights during the cold of winter Life is always greener on the other side Take for instance the summer season on the Fork It s madness Madness in the deli madness at Love Lane Kitchen madness on Sound Avenue attitudes galore restaurants packed liter on the beach illegal parking it s the extreme for and in both seasons However that still leaves the underwhelming problem of boredom throughout the winter months I have compiled a list of things to do when going stir crazy her it goes as follows 1 drink more fabulous wine Silver Oak Plumpjack Caymus Opus One etc 2 longer lunches with friends 3 hours at great lunching joints Ambrose Cafe Cippolini Tuscan House The St Regis The Behlman Bar 3 more trips to American Manhassset4 catch a flick in the afternoon at Island 16 then hit Tellers for one or two definately two Appple Martinis and their lobster wontons5 go to Mint of course for one or two items to put the D back in dreaminess and then BS with Barbara for an hour6 hit the East Wind for a spa day I have yet to do this 7 fight with your significant other so that you are jusified in driving to exit 49 north on the LIE and heading straight to Saks 5th to buy a Louis Vuitton handbag8 google all of the people you dislike and see what you find9 Blog about senseless nonsense10 Watch Twilight and New Moon for the umteenth timeHope these suggestions help they can get you through about two weeks I think of total extreme boredom The Fork still sucks in the winter time especially on a day like today when you make way for the outlets only to discover that they are stinkin closed because of snow
Inner Peace Vs Outer Beauty
Published: 2010-2-17
Something to ponder and debate about I suppose For me inner peace is obtained to a moderate extent through outer beauty For instance on the days that I don t go to the gym and do my thing mentally I am off and the little voices go round about in my head throughout my day telling me not to eat your fat you should of gone to the gym you re lazy etc On days that I do go to the gym my psyche is happy and the voices are silenced On days that I don t put myself together and look presentable I don t feel as good about myself as opposed to days when I do put in the effort How I express myself on the outside is often reflectory of how I am feeling on the inside I think this concept varies from person to person I m sure there are those women that dress according to how they are feeling inwardly sometimes this is not always a good thing When I am most cranky I usually look my best in an attempt to hide what is really going on within Any thoughts However I am confident when I say that we are judged by how we express ourselves in appearance People do not observe our inner peace first instead it is our physical selves which are suspect to the most criticism What hides within is personal and not revealed to just anyone
Hungry And No Place To Go
Published: 2010-2-10
Need I say more The North Fork has the worse places to eat for breakfast lunch and dinner I have a couple of rules that I follow when dining out and they go something like this 1 Restaurants with carpeting are generally out2 Fried seafood joints definately out3 Anything with the word Elbow in it are totally outOkay simple and would you believe it now our dining options are practically down to ZERO There are a few establishments on the Fork that make my cut but because my selections are small I have frequented them too many times and find myself desperate for change Frisky OysterNorth Fork Inn and TableLove Lane KitchenBayviewI warned you the list is very short We have a real food consumption problem out here Forkers need to stop eating bad food and demanding better food by not eating bad food Stop going to Skippers stop going to O Malley s stop going to Do-Littles stop going to Michaelangelo s stop going to The Seafood Barge stop going to The Rhumline stop going to Lenny s stop going to Founder s stop stop stop If intelligent people consider this concept for a moment bad places can t stay open for business if people don t eat their bad food I hear complaints of the short list dining options as being too expensive Not so If people stop making poor dining choices and saving their appetites and their money for a single dining out experience per week well then you ve got something Naturally two things will happen Bad places will go away and better places will stay in business and multiply Problem solved
Long Island Blog - Long Island New York Valentine s Day
Published: 2010-2-05
Long Island Blog - Long Island New York Valentine s Day
Women Of The Fork
Published: 2010-2-05
How one grooms oneself is how one chooses to define themself What you present to the world in terms of outer garments hairstyle and makeup says everything about who you are There is something very attractive and respectable about a woman that puts herself together daily This means showering daily constructing an outfit styling your hair and doing what must be done for a healthy glowing complexion I don t care if a woman is not attractive the fact that she is well put together saves her and says postive things about who she is as a person What people wear daily is important in every regard A past mentor of mine always used to say You dress for the job you want not for the job you have So here we are living and talking about the Fork The women of the Fork need a fashion intervention I am so tired of seeing grown women promenading around Love Lane in jumpsuits Ladies this is not clothing It looks cute and is AGE APPROPRIATE on a teenage girl but not on a mom get dressed with real clothes Everytime I see a women wearing one of these velvet-esque type jump suits I think to myself she obviously didn t feel like getting dressed this morning Seriously it s not attractive but instead sloppy Then there are those ladies that do get dressed but it s not in a good way Where are you people shopping Dress yourself as if every day matters dress yourself as a statement of confidence feminity and sexual appeal in an Emily Post kind of way Women of the Fork do none of this and need to Here are some basic suggestions to help those who can t seem to help themselves Manicure Pedicure yourself regularly neutral tones bright colors save for special occasions Go to a good hair salon like Deliquila Paul Izack Kevin Maples NuBest etc and trust your stylistWear cologne perfume daily suggestions Chanel Chance Burberry London Hermes Prada and the like as a way of defining you I like the idea of a signature scent Wear good jeans that flatter your figure J Brand Citizen Seven True Religion etc stay away from pairing denim with sneakers save that for Sunday morning and yardwork and try wearing heels instead Unless they re skinnys stay away from the tapered leg look gross Accessorize your outfit with a great watch bigger watches are in a bracelet or two diamond studs or hoops and a simple necklaceWear makeup Wear good makeup not from a drugstore Everyone needs a little something if not sure where to go then head West on 495 NYC and head straight to Saks 5th Avenue Street level is makeup beauty central Chanel Dolce Gabbana Bobby Brown or Laura Mercier all good places to startSweatshirts have no place in an outfit again save it for Sunday morning or just don t leave the houseUggs are cute for snow and on little girls not adult womenAND FINALLY LOOSE 15 LBS There are a lot of overweight fat-bottomed women on the North ForkThere is so much to say in regards to fashion and the North Fork More will be said trust me The women that I see promenading on Love Lane don t seem to be trying unless of course they work at Mint Which is why I am blogging about this topic Mint by the way is a great place to shop or even browse for ideas Everyone has their convictions about how much they will spend on a said item so Mint may not fit into your budget However the majority of the pieces that are sold there are very in fashion so if anything go inside and get some ideas Ditch the jumpsuits and get dressed ladies
FACEBOOK
Published: 2010-2-02
Okay people lets discuss Facebook and what it means to you As we all know Facebook is a social utility connecting people over the internet I was once a Facebook user which means I am no longer It was just tooo much pressure pressure to go LOOKING around pressure to post stuff on my facebook pressure reading other people s pressure Why do people specifically women post endless posts on their facebook pages Who cares if you are constipated or can t find your kids sneakers why do we need to know about that I need to know more about the pros and cons of Facebook
Waldbaum s Mattituck Makeover
Published: 2010-2-02
Who on the Fork could disagree with me Waldbaum s in Mattituck is the worst place on the North Fork to go grocery shopping The place is extremely dirty old crowded they have limited produce and food items the lines are always too long as there is never enough cashiers Generally employees are not super friendly the list goes on and on and on The worst is accepting that you have to go the grocery store and really don t want to So you muster up the gumption to go and so you do You pull into the parking lot and there aren t a lot of great parking options no shit The car gets parked as far away from your point of destination in hopes of sparing it a ding or too oh did I mention the parking spaces are hardly wide enough to fit a Smart Car The entire Mattituck food shopping experience sucks hands down any takers
Rabid Beagles Running Loose
Published: 2010-2-02
I saw this on the news last night Apparently there is a pack of beagles running free in the Orient Point area They appear to be dangerous and very hungry Locals are now fearing for their lives and the safety of their domestic pets Has anyone misplaced a beagle Has anyone spotted theses crazed canines
A Gross Place
Published: 2010-2-02
Please explain to me the lure of Four Doors located in Mattituck New York What is appealing about an establishment such as this located smack dab in the middle of town usually filled with town drunks and the like It s an icky place with icky food and sometimes filled with icky people I m always surprised when I drive by and see a particular someones car there the shoe just doesn t seem to fit There are many other fine or finer establisments that serve alcohol and food to and for the public Why not congregate elswhere without the negative connotation