Accentuating Service From Laura Lieff

How To Get Promoted
Published: 8:00--/2
If you 39 re an ambitious person and want to get ahead in your career there are a number of things that you should consider and that you need to do First of all you should be certain that you 39 re in the right career for you and that you work at a company that prefers promoting its employees to hiring from the outside To be in the right career means that you 39 re good at what you do and that you enjoy it Secondly you should be approachable and friendly towards everyone with whom you come in contact on the job Being friendly doesn 39 t translate into spending a lot of time in the kitchen or at the proverbial water cooler It means being pleasant around your coworkers and others with whom you come into contact It 39 s wise to not participate actively in office gossip although it 39 s hard to avoid hearing it If you 39 re asked to volunteer an opinion it 39 s best to be noncommittal or neutral Since it 39 s not always easy to discern who is gunning for the same promotion that you 39 d like to get you don 39 t want to say anything that could be damaging to you if it were to be repeated to the wrong person or misinterpreted 160 Thirdly you should do the best work of which you 39 re capable at your current position Don 39 t be content doing the bare minimum just to get by Go above and beyond what 39 s expected of you whenever possible and make sure that your boss knows what you 39 ve done Also if you have free time ask your boss for additional assignments with which he or someone else in the department might need assistance Try to find out as much as you can about how things are done and or how things work in positions other than your own Fourthly you should dress appropriately for the position that you 39 re seeking Image counts Fifthly try to become expert at an important function of your department Try to be the quot go to quot person of the group It goes without saying that you should show up on time and try to avoid being the first person to leave for the day Of course it makes sense to investigate what the possible promotion entails so that you 39 re gunning for a position that you would enjoy If it turns out that you wouldn 39 t enjoy the next move up you might consider whether there 39 s another position that 39 s a promotion that you would enjoy or whether you could make a lateral move that could lead to a somewhat different career path Once you 39 ve been at your current position for a while and you know that you 39 re a valued employee you should let your boss know that you would love to be considered for any positions that should come up that are more advanced than your current position
Do Business With Respectful Business People Only
Published: 6:57--/2
I recently contacted someone with whom I briefly shared an office more than 25 years ago to find out whether she 39 d be willing to pay me a finder 39 s fee for referring good candidates to her She said that she would When I told her that I 39 d write an agreement regarding our orally agreed-upon business arrangement she became defensive and said quot Don 39 t you trust me quot To assure her that my wanting to get our agreement in writing was no reflection on her I told her that this is the way that I do business and that I can count on one hand the number of people I trust A red flag went up immediately as people who don 39 t want to sign agreements frequently don 39 t want to be accountable I emailed the woman the agreement It was a straightforward simple one-page agreement Days went by and I still hadn 39 t received a signed copy back from her 160 When I told the woman that I needed to get back to my client she promised me that she 39 d sign the agreement and send it back to me that Saturday On Saturday I received an email from her telling me that I 39 d have the signed agreement in my hands by that night I didn 39 t The next morning I asked her about it and she balked again about having to sign an agreement and made a lame excuse as to why she couldn 39 t send it to me on the day that she had promised to do so As you can imagine I decided not to do business with her as she was behaving as if she were doing me a favor when in reality we would have 160 been doing each other a favor and I found her behavior to be disrespectful of me The takeaway here is as follows 1 a business agreement should always be in writing 2 tread carefully if a business person balks about having a written agreement 3 if you feel as if a business person isn 39 t treating you respectfully and or is jerking you around you 39 re better off not doing business with that person 160 No matter how long you know someone you should still treat that person with respect This woman 39 s questionable treatment of me didn 39 t bode well for how she would have treated my clients I can 39 t and won 39 t refer my clients to business people who are disrespectful and or untrustworthy and neither should you
The Marital Contract
Published: 0:47--/2
There is a wide range of marital contracts today Most marriages are still between two people however there are people who have open marriages polygamist marriages polyamorous marriages and sexless marriages As a traditionalist my concept of marriage involves a marriage between two people For purposes of this post I will discuss marriage between a man and a woman only This is in no way shape or form a political statement Soon you 39 ll understand why I am limiting this discussion to marriage between a man and a woman As I recall I was married and divorced a very long time ago there 39 s a statement in the marriage vows about quot forsaking all others quot Although marriage means different things to different people and although people marry for a variety of reasons most would agree that the traditional marriage contract includes sexual relations between the two married people After all how can one expect one 39 s spouse to forsake all others if one is not living up to his or her marital contract There are some people who are asexual and others who have a very low sex drive If the spouses of these people have a normal sex drive they are bound to be dissatisfied with the state of their union They are faced with some difficult choices They can go for counseling with their spouses go outside of the marriage for sex become celibate or get a divorce Counseling is probably a good first step however it might not help 160 It is my contention that 1 people who are asexual or who have a low sex drive should find each other and marry each other 2 a married person cannot expect fidelity from his or her partner if he or she is unwilling to hold up his or her end of the marital contract and 3 a person who has a healthy sex drive should not have to deny his or her needs because of a partner who is too selfish to satisfy those needs Although I could discuss this in terms of men not fulfilling the marital contract I will discuss it in terms of women not doing so as that seems to be the more typical scenario I had recently written a blog post about the importance of honesty in relationships Unfortunately there doesn 39 t seem to be enough of this as based on what I hear from men whom I know well there are women who pretend to be sexual beings to quot snag quot a man and then once they 39 ve accomplished their objective slack off regarding fulfilling their husband 39 s sexual needs I am not suggesting here that a woman has to go along with all of her husband 39 s sexual demands or that she has to comply every time her husband wants relations What I am suggesting is that a woman who isn 39 t selfish will do her best to acquiesce to most or at least many of her husband 39 s sexual needs assuming that they aren 39 t repugnant to her and will try to satisfy him sometimes even when she doesn 39 t feel like doing so A man shouldn 39 t have to deny his needs or martyr himself because his spouse doesn 39 t especially enjoy sex or no longer cares about satisfying him sexually 160 Apparently some post-menopausal women find intercourse to be very painful I can understand why these women might not want to subject themselves to pain However there are many other ways to satisfy one 39 s partner that these women can employ In my opinion to deny one 39 s mate the enjoyment for which you both contracted on your wedding day is to break the marital contract and is to show a lack of love and empathy for one 39 s partner I am not suggesting that sex is the only component of a good marriage however it is an integral component of a good marriage and it is something that nobody should be denied unless there is an upfront agreement between the two partners that the marriage will be a sexless one In my opinion being in a marriage that has become sexless is a very sad state of affairs and is something that doesn 39 t need to be tolerated as it 39 s a broken marriage due to a broken marital contract
The Importance Of Honesty In Relationships
Published: 7:30--/2
People of all ages are in the dating pool If you 39 re a woman you might be tempted to fudge some of your stats as approximately one-third to two-fifths of the male population is looking for younger thin women If you 39 re a man you might be tempted to fudge your financial stats or education credentials Both genders might post pictures of themselves on dating websites that are 10 - 20 years old All of this posturing and misrepresentation is a recipe for disaster as you won 39 t look like your picture and if you 39 re not well-educated your writing and speech will give you away Most people don 39 t appreciate being lied to and many will end the date before you have a chance to impress them with your scintillating personality In dating it 39 s always better to be honest There is no charade that can be kept up indefinitely and a relationship that is built on lies is a relationship that won 39 t last 160 We all have our quirks and imperfections and should focus on those who like and love us because of or despite those quirks and imperfections Honesty is just as important after marriage If you behave one way before marriage and change your behavior dramatically after marriage your spouse is likely to become a very unhappy camper Many divorces have been caused by people who pretended to be someone else before marriage and who revealed their true personalities characters and behavior after marriage If your self-esteem is shaky or if you 39 re a compulsive liar you 39 re better off going into therapy than pretending to be someone else If all you care about is short-term results you can fool some people but that won 39 t bring you any happiness unless you 39 re a psychopath or sociopath 160 The best relationships are those between people who value and practice love friendship honesty trust and communication Until you 39 re ready to practice these concepts you might be better off remaining in the dating pool
Going With The Flow
Published: 0:04--/2
In the hurried pace at which many of us live we often forget to take time to smell the roses I know that I do Thanksgiving Day is a difficult day for many of us as it brings back memories of departed loved ones with whom we used to celebrate the day and it can bring forth thoughts of those with whom we 39 d like to share the day but for any of a number of reasons can 39 t There isn 39 t only one way to handle melancholic feelings This morning I chose to do something that I haven 39 t done in too long a time I listened to music that I love Although I 39 m dating myself by saying who one of my all-time favorite ballad singers is I must admit that I can 39 t resist listening to Johnny Mathis sing songs like quot Begin the Beguine quot quot Misty quot quot How Do You Keep the Music Playing quot quot Too Much Too Little Too Late quot and many others Music absolutely stirs my emotions For example I can never listen to quot How Do You Keep the Music Playing quot without crying It 39 s an astoundingly beautiful song with meaningful lyrics and if you 39 ve never heard it I suggest you go to You Tube and download Johnny Mathis 39 version of the song You won 39 t be sorry On the other end of the spectrum Pharrell Williams 39 quot Happy quot always has its intended effect on me which is to make me feel happy A couple of years ago I went to a jazz performance with a friend As I love jazz and as I especially enjoyed the arrangements the musicians performed I told my friend that listening to jazz transports me I wasn 39 t exaggerating There is nothing wrong with allowing ourselves to feel all of our emotions even the more unpleasant ones That means of course that sometimes we can feel melancholic or nostalgic For me it 39 s both soothing and cathartic to listen to music that reflects my mood For some it 39 s fine art for others it 39 s dance Any of the arts nature sports food etc can transport us Sometimes it 39 s best to just go with the flow until the mood passes While you 39 re going with the flow why not immerse yourself in your favorite music Since it 39 s still Thanksgiving Day for those of you who mistakenly think that you have nothing to be thankful for I have something for you BE THANKFUL THAT YOU WEREN 39 T BORN A TURKEY Happy Thanksgiving Day
Thank You So Much For Your Support
Published: 9:39--/2
Although I might not respond to your comments about my blog promptly it 39 s not because I don 39 t want to it 39 s because there are only so many hours in the day and at the end of the day I need some r amp r before going to sleep I work hard for my money wasn 39 t there a song quot She works hard for her money quot 160 I can 39 t tell you how much I appreciate your very flattering comments about my writing my content how much you relate to what I write etc Hearing how much you enjoy my blog posts makes writing them worthwhile even when I struggle to come up with a topic of interest Please don 39 t think that I 39 m ungrateful if you don 39 t hear back from me promptly I 39 m sure that you have the same problem that I have too much to do and too little time in which to do it Thank you so much for your support I appreciate it much more than you might think Sincerely Laura
Good Relationships Require Work
Published: 6:54--/2
Most of us have experienced what I 39 ll refer to as lopsided relationships These are friendships or romantic relationships in which one person is doing most of the pursuing i e making most of the phone calls or doing most of the emailing or texting giving more of his or her time money understanding transparency in short showing more interest than the other party These friendships or romantic relationships are not good relationships as in order for a relationship to work there needs to be a give and take with both people doing equal amounts of giving and taking When this equality is lacking if the one who is doing all or most of the giving has any brains and is together emotionally he or she will ultimately lose interest in the relationship Needless to say there are times in any relationship when one person does more of the giving or taking however this should not be the overall theme of the relationship If you 39 re doing most or all of the giving or pursuing you 39 ll tire of this and come to the realization that the friendship or relationship isn 39 t fulfilling your needs and you 39 ll most likely move on as you should Some people assume that once they 39 ve established a relationship they no longer have to work at it These people don 39 t truly understand the nature of a good relationship If you want to keep a husband wife girlfriend boyfriend or friend you need to do the work that is required to keep the relationship going in the same way that you would do the work that is required to keep a business relationship going I realize that this might sound like too much work and not enough fun but no matter how compatible two people are there will be occasional differences that arise and that have to be worked out to the satisfaction of both people I guess what I 39 m trying to say is that you should never take people who are important to you for granted The person who feels that he or she is being taken for granted will build up resentment and will probably distance him- or herself from you You might not even realize that this is happening as you 39 re so wrapped up in your own needs and interests that you don 39 t notice that your friend lover husband or wife has checked out emotionally The relationship is in trouble and you don 39 t even know it My advice to you is to think about why this person has distanced him- or herself from you and the part that you 39 ve played in the current situation The next order of business so to speak is to correct the problem before it 39 s too late Most people want to feel appreciated for their efforts and their interest and if you fail to do that you 39 re on the way to losing someone who is or has been important to you Once this loss occurs you probably won 39 t be able to regain the relationship in a way that satisfies your needs as the person will have for all intents and purposes moved on My experience has shown me that good people are hard to find Be smart be present be thoughtful be giving and be genuinely interested in your relationships so that you don 39 t find yourself without those relationships that you value and that have sustained you If you do the work that is required you will most likely be glad that you did
Make An Informed Decision
Published: 7:42--/2
Some people are skilled at getting job offers and therefore think nothing of starting yet another job search that could have been avoided if they had taken the time to research the company that extended them an offer found out exactly what the position entails learned as much as possible about the person or people to whom they 39 ll be reporting discovered why the position has become available asked to speak with people at the company who have the same or a similar position and requested the contact information of a couple or at least one of the people who had the position but left the company or moved to another position within the company I understand that this sounds excessive and am not suggesting that you do all of this before your first interview What I am recommending is that you don 39 t accept a new position without doing your due diligence The reason that I think that it 39 s important to make an informed decision is that generally-speaking potential employers aren 39 t impressed by candidates who change jobs every year or two If they have a choice between a quot job-hopper quot and someone who has shown more work stability all things being equal they 39 ll choose the candidate who is more likely to stay with them for at least several years Before even going on your first interview you should have researched the company online and it doesn 39 t hurt to talk with a couple of people whom you know who work at the company Admittedly there are very few companies about which everyone has only positive things to say however if you hear the same negative comments from at least three people who you think are trustworthy you need to take the comments seriously 160 You can also look for online reviews about a company however you need to take these reviews with a grain of salt as you don 39 t know anything about the people who wrote the reviews Before going on your first interview you should have researched the people with whom you 39 ll be interviewing assuming that you know all of their names Sometimes if you do really well on an interview with the first person you meet you 39 ll be introduced to some other people at the company and since you can 39 t plan for this you just have to go with the flow If you 39 re told that he or she would like you to come back to meet with other people do your best to get the names of the people with whom you 39 ll be meeting so that you can check them out online In most cases you should be able to get this information the day before the interview if the first interviewer doesn 39 t know exactly with whom you 39 ll be meeting on your second interview Very few people business people don 39 t have Linkedin profiles and some of them have Facebook and Twitter profiles as well Some people reveal more about themselves than others but at least you 39 ll find out the interviewers 39 past work experience education groups and charities or causes that interest them You might even find that you have some common interests If you can 39 t research the people before meeting with them check out the photos in their offices If for example the person is an avid golfer sailor etc he or she is likely to have one or two or more photos of that sport Since you are also interviewing the person or people with whom you 39 ll be working even during your first interview at the end of the interview when the interviewer asks you whether you have any questions one of the questions that you should ask is quot How would you describe what it 39 s like to work for you quot or quot What is your management style quot 160 Once you get a job offer you can ask to speak to one or two potential colleagues at the company and ask for contact information for a couple of people who have left the company and someone who had the position previously Sometimes people leave companies for benign reasons i e they 39 re moving to a distant location they 39 ve decided to go back to school they realize that it isn 39 t the right career for them etc It 39 s better to communicate with these people by telephone than it is to communicate by email as you 39 re more likely to uncover the truth by telephone The final decision regarding whether to accept an offer should be made by your gut If you sense that your potential employer is someone with whom you won 39 t enjoy interacting don 39 t accept the offer If the work that you 39 ll be doing doesn 39 t interest you or if it 39 s something that you don 39 t think that you 39 re that good at don 39 t accept the offer Admittedly you might have done your due diligence and find that the position is very different from the way that it was represented to you the person who hired you leaves and is replaced by someone who is very difficult to work with you like the position initially but in time it changes and you don 39 t like it anymore etc These things happen and if you had done your due diligence you are not at all at fault The scenario that I described in this post applies primarily to people who get into the job market because they 39 re not that happy with their current positions It applies only to a lesser extent to people who are out of work and who are not independently wealthy or being supported by someone else In that case people should still do what they feel is appropriate due diligence however it is understandable if they accept an offer that isn 39 t up to snuff and continue to look for an offer that is
Hard Work Brings Serendipity
Published: 6:00--/2
A while back my chiropractor asked me how I get clients My response was quot Serendipity quot That 39 s only partially true though 160 If you work hard marketing networking getting the word out about your company any way you know how serendipity kicks in For example I sent marketing letters to big-firm attorneys for a year I didn 39 t get much work from my efforts two attorneys hired me for errands and another attorney hired me to get a famous artist 39 s signature on his book at a book signing I did however reconnect with a lovely attorney whom I had placed a long time ago when he was an associate and who has since become a very successful department head at an international law firm This appreciative contact of mine was kind enough to introduce me to a potential client who in turn was thoughtful enough to invite me to a few events where I could meet potential clients Last year an attorney for whom I didn 39 t do any work but with whom I had spoken a couple of times referred someone who works with her to me for my medical escorting services I am certain that if when this medical escorting client needs this kind of service again she will contact me as my other medical escorting clients have hired me more than once 160 Another way that I 39 ve gotten clients is through a professional network to which I belong I did a resume for a fellow member 39 s daughter a Linkedin profile for another member and was hired by a third member for a part-time job as an assistant recruiter for a Fortune 100 company 160 I 39 ve made some wonderful connections through my networking activities two of whom I 39 ve hired for part-time work and one of whom has become a personal friend My chiropractor an angel has given out my business cards to clients of his who could benefit from my services and although I haven 39 t as yet gotten any clients from his efforts one of these days it 39 s bound to happen I also keep my eyes open for all kinds of opportunities that interest me Whether it 39 s volunteering at a golf tournament held at a local country club or doing much less glamorous work I 39 m available and willing to do it I 39 m more fortunate than many in that my company provides wide-ranging services but that 39 s not the point A small business owner has to view every interaction that he has as a possible business opportunity He needs to be professional responsive kind and caring especially in my business so that people will want to hire him He also has to be good at whatever he 39 s hired to do and be willing to go the extra mile for his clients Clients have long memories for service providers who have provided more than what they expected I don 39 t really believe in luck I believe that if you work hard and smart you quot get lucky quot 160 People like to hire service people and professionals who are talented reliable warm sincere trustworthy and honest If you 39 re good at what you do and if you possess the aforementioned qualities the word eventually gets out and other people will hire you All of this doesn 39 t happen overnight it takes time and patience If you put in the effort and have a positive attitude the clients will come and it will seem to be serendipitous
The High Maintenance Woman
Published: 5:54--/2
You don 39 t have to be a man to dislike the high maintenance woman I dislike her too The high maintenance woman expects you to go out of your way to fulfill her needs She can be retired and you can be running a business and when you try to make plans with her she can give you instructions as to what subway line the restaurant should be near If you 39 re smart you 39 ll tell her to choose the restaurant If she can 39 t take the time to take care of her own needs it 39 s not your job to pick up the slack You can be a nice person without being a doormat This very situation happened to me recently I 39 m always busy working at something and a woman whom I knew from school days seemed to want to get together with me however she expected me to do all the work regarding making plans She 39 s retired and has much more free time than I When I made it her responsibility to choose the restaurant she was offended as she expected me to quot share quot in the burden of finding a restaurant that was convenient for her I don 39 t have the time for high maintenance women I am one of the most considerate people I know It 39 s astounding to me how inconsiderate most people are Think about the people who walk in the streets of Manhattan for example I can 39 t tell you how often a stranger in the street has coughed or sneezed right in my face while passing me But I digress I started this discussion regarding the high maintenance woman Many years ago I started to become friendly with a woman whom I had known for many years We were trying to make plans to go to a movie and I chose 5 movies all different from each other and asked her to select one of them She didn 39 t like any of my choices She also didn 39 t like any of my restaurant choices This friendship never got off the ground The high maintenance woman is frequently a lonely woman because most people aren 39 t interested in treating their friends as if their friends are clients Most people don 39 t enjoy being with women who have a sense of entitlement These women probably aren 39 t aware of how spoiled they are because most people will disappear from them without explaining why If you see yourself in the portrait that I painted here you might want to change your behavior towards others and try to become less demanding We all have enough on our plates without having to cater to you as well